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You have most likely heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – also known as PTSD. It is used to describe the mental and emotional anguish suffered by those who have experienced sudden trauma. PTSD is often experienced by soldiers as well as those who have been victims of rape and other crimes, and even […]
You have most likely heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – also known as PTSD. It is used to describe the mental and emotional anguish suffered by those who have experienced sudden trauma. PTSD is often experienced by soldiers as well as those who have been victims of rape and other crimes, and even victims of house fires and car accidents.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) describes a condition that very much presents like PTSD, the difference being the sufferer experienced prolonged periods of abuse or neglect. This could happen as a result of childhood neglect or the abuse suffered at the hands of a narcissistic partner.
Diagnosing C-PTSD is tricky because the symptoms are usually not very unique. That is to say, someone who is suffering from C-PTSD may be experiencing anxiety and lethargy, but these symptoms match other mental health issues.
But it is very important to accurately diagnose C-PTSD because of the necessary treatment measures. The main difference between C-PTSD and other mental health issues – say, bipolar disorder – is that C-PTSD is a result of things that were done TO an individual, and not an intrinsic problem. In other words, someone suffers from C-PTSD because of abuse and neglect at the hands of another and not because of genetically determined brain chemistry.
To help correctly identify C-PTSD, a therapist must uncover an accurate history to understand if:
As I just mentioned, the outward symptoms of C-PTSD may match other mental health disorders. Those symptoms include:
There are a few different treatment options for people suffering from C-PTSD:
Psychotherapy
Therapy can take place on a one-to-one basis or in a group setting. The focus will be on addressing feelings, improving connections with others, and dealing with anxiety and flashbacks. Many therapists have had success using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helping people cope with the symptoms of C-PTSD.
EMDR
EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. This is a process that uses eye movement to help a person desensitize their reactions to a specific traumatic event. The result is the person can eventually recall the memory but have no emotional reaction to it.
Medication
Some individuals may need to be on medications for a while to reduce their anxiety. A therapist can work with you to determine if this is the best course of action.
If you believe you are suffering from C-PTSD and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, nearly 1 in 5 women will be raped at some point in their lives in the United States. In addition, an estimated 13% of women and 6% of men reported being a victim of sexual coercion, which means being pressured in a nonphysical way of experiencing unwanted […]
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, nearly 1 in 5 women will be raped at some point in their lives in the United States. In addition, an estimated 13% of women and 6% of men reported being a victim of sexual coercion, which means being pressured in a nonphysical way of experiencing unwanted sexual penetration.
Keep in mind, these numbers represent only those victims that came forward. For every one of these statistics, there are other men and women who have remained silent about their assault.
Sexual assault is complex. It obviously includes rape, attempted rape, unwanted touching or fondling, and sexual coercion. But sexual assault can also include things like:
After an individual has been sexually assaulted, they often feel fear, shock, shame, guilt, or a combination of all these feelings. In addition, people who have been the victim of a sexual assault may also experience headaches, asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, trouble sleeping, chronic pain, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.
While it can feel incredibly overwhelming after you’ve experienced sexual assault, it’s important to recognize that it is never your fault. It is also incredibly necessary that you practice self-care and self-compassion at this time. This means ensuring you eat right and get enough sleep each day. While it may be difficult to take care of yourself as you normally would, your recovery depends on it. Reach out to friends and family members who can help you with any chores or cooking.
Also, know that there are therapists who can offer effective coping strategies.
Some forms of therapy can help you learn how your unconscious emotions affect your behaviors and the challenges you may now be experiencing. Other types of therapy, such as EMDR – or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, can rewire the brain, helping you to change the way you process the memory and the assault.
There are some very good resources available to you
National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233)
And if you would like to speak with someone, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to talk about how I may be able to help.
When you live with an anxiety disorder, any moment can become one that creates a slow-rising panic within you. Life is normal one second and the next, you feel your chest tighten and your heart begin to race. You may begin to hyperfocus on future events and find yourself getting lost in “what-ifs.” To make […]
When you live with an anxiety disorder, any moment can become one that creates a slow-rising panic within you. Life is normal one second and the next, you feel your chest tighten and your heart begin to race. You may begin to hyperfocus on future events and find yourself getting lost in “what-ifs.”
To make matters worse, you may then begin to berate yourself for allowing the panic to get the best of you and begin to believe that all of those what-ifs are indisputable facts.
Luckily there are many powerful tools and techniques you can use to manage your anxiety effectively.
The minute you feel a panic attack coming on, the first thing to do is stop and gain control of your breath. Deep, slow breathing sends a signal to our brains that everything is safe in our environment. Controlled breathing is one of the most powerful ways to activate your body’s relaxation response. It will take your mind and body out of “fight or flight” mode and put it instantly into a calm and relaxed state.
It’s important to always remember that anxiety is “just a feeling.” And like all feelings, it can go as quickly as it came. You are having an emotional reaction to a string of thoughts. Accept your anxiety because trying to pretend it’s not happening will only make matters worse.
Let’s be clear – by accepting your anxiety, you are not resigning yourself to a life of eternal misery. You are not throwing in the towel and trying to suddenly like your anxiety. Nope. You are simply living a more mindful existence, being in the moment, and accepting whatever is in that moment with you.
One of the most frightening things about a panic attack is the feeling that you are having a heart attack. But you aren’t. Your brain can and will play tricks on you, trying to get you to believe that you are in physical danger. But the truth is, you are not in physical danger. You are having an episode based on emotions and it will pass. Remind yourself of that as many times as you need to.
When your panic attack begins, your mind begins to throw out all sorts of outlandish ideas at you, hoping some of them stick. These thoughts are intended to keep the panic attack going.
Before you take any of these thoughts as reality and truth, question them. For instance, if your mind throws things out like, “No one here likes me. I am for sure going to screw this up. I probably left the stove on. And I’ll no doubt get stuck in bad traffic on the way home and maybe even get a flat so I will then be stranded, and on and on and on…”
Questions these ideas. Are you TRULY not liked by everyone around you? Most likely not. Are you really going to screw up? Probably not. Traffic? Well, maybe but a flat tire? Chances are no.
Always question your thoughts. You will usually find the majority aren’t very realistic or probable.
Picture somewhere serene that brings you peace and calm. Maybe this is your grandparents’ old house or a lake you’ve visited before. Maybe it’s that fantastic beachfront condo from your last vacation. Just picture it in your mind’s eye and really put yourself there. See it, smell it, feel it. Feel how calm it feels to be in this space that is perfectly comforting and safe.
Use these techniques the next time you experience an anxiety attack. They should help you feel much calmer much sooner.
If you would like to explore treatment options for your anxiety, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men die by suicide more than 3x as often as women. In fact, white males accounted for 69.67% of suicide deaths in 2018. Those are startling statistics. But what’s the reason behind these numbers? Well, according to a recent Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) survey, […]
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men die by suicide more than 3x as often as women. In fact, white males accounted for 69.67% of suicide deaths in 2018.
Those are startling statistics. But what’s the reason behind these numbers? Well, according to a recent Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) survey, the number of men who seek treatment for depression is far lower than the number of women who seek out guidance.
Some mental health experts believe that certain cultural and social norms, as well as rigid views of masculinity, most likely prevent many men from seeking help. Men also have a much more difficult time trusting, opening up, and communicating their feelings.
Mental health issues also tend to manifest much differently in men than women, resulting in issues going ignored and untreated. Men often either don’t recognize they are in emotional pain or take a “walk it off” attitude toward it. This leads to unprocessed emotions building and building until the man may act out and commit violence against himself or someone else.
Should you or someone you know be experiencing thoughts of suicide, it is critically important that you seek help. While a high level of risk requires hospitalization or intense in-patient out-patient treatment, those not currently in a high-risk crisis can be successfully treated through psychotherapy.
Therapy offers a safe space for men to open up and admit they are hurting and need help. There is no judgment, only compassion, and guided healing. A focus of this therapy will be to address the factors that led to thoughts of suicide, ways to resist the urge to self-harm, and creating a plan that includes coping strategies to address suicidal thoughts should they recur.
Your therapist will also determine whether you may benefit from prescription medications, which are sometimes necessary as a temporary aid to cognitive behavioral therapy.
You don’t need to suffer alone. And seeking help does not make you weak. It actually makes you very strong. If you have had thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to someone. You may contact me and I would be very happy to discuss what therapy offers in more detail and how I might be able to help.
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Not many of us will get through life without facing our own share of challenges. But some people experience not just stress and strife, but actual trauma. Trauma may come in the form of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, a physical accident such as a car accident, rape, the sudden loss of a loved […]
Not many of us will get through life without facing our own share of challenges. But some people experience not just stress and strife, but actual trauma. Trauma may come in the form of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, a physical accident such as a car accident, rape, the sudden loss of a loved one, or war.
When a person experiences trauma, their entire world changes almost instantly. Many trauma survivors have a hard time feeling safe and secure. They begin to feel anxiety and depression, have trouble sleeping, and may experience other behavioral changes that are frightening to them and their loved ones.
When you have experienced trauma and begin to see some of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it’s time to explore treatment so you can begin healing. The idea of therapy can feel scary and overwhelming to people with PTSD, mainly because they need to have a sense of total control to feel safe.
But trauma therapy is really something that can empower an individual with PTSD. With the help of a caring and qualified mental health professional, the person can begin to process past events, stripping that traumatic event of its power.
Trauma therapy is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and has the potential to actually change the way your brain works through what is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity simply means our brains and neural pathways (how we think and feel) are malleable. Through specific mental health tools and strategies, we can retrain our brains to let go of the fear and begin to heal.
Some of the goals of trauma therapy are:
If you or a loved one are living with PTSD, it’s important that you recognize the symptoms and seek help. Life does not have to continue to be scary or overwhelming. There are strategies that can help you process your pain so that you may continue to live your life full of joy and peace.
If you would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be very happy to help you leave the past in the past and move on to brighter tomorrows.
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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is famous for having said, “Into each life some rain must fall,” meaning life is always going to throw us some heartache. This same sentiment can be said about relationships. Into each one some irritability, frustration and overall blah-ness tends to fall. But while it’s common for all couples to go through […]
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is famous for having said, “Into each life some rain must fall,” meaning life is always going to throw us some heartache. This same sentiment can be said about relationships. Into each one some irritability, frustration and overall blah-ness tends to fall.
But while it’s common for all couples to go through “the blahs,” you don’t have to throw in the towel and stay there. In fact, couples that put in the time and effort to reconnect with one another often feel even closer for it.
If you would like to build intimacy with your partner, here are some easy ways to start that journey:
Focus and Listen
Thanks to the proliferation of digital media and mobile devices, we live in a world that seems to demand that we all become proficient multitaskers. The problem with this is, it’s hard to shut off this instinct. Most of us are hardly able to have a conversation with a loved one without checking our social media pages or texting a co-worker. This inability to STOP and focus on just being with our partner can absolutely kill intimacy.
If you want to reconnect you’ve got to become aware of when your mind is wandering. You’ve got to really focus on your partner and actually listen with both ears to what they say. Being heard, really heard, makes us feel loved and cared for. By doing this for your partner you will not only make them feel loved and special, you will inspire them to reciprocate the same respect.
Appreciate All They Do
It’s entirely too easy to take our loved ones for granted. Reconnecting requires that we appreciate who they are and all that they do in our lives.
Think of some things that you appreciate about your partner and thank them. Perhaps they always take out the trash without being asked. Maybe they bring you a cup of coffee in the morning when you first wake up, or they do the dishes every night. Take the time to recognize their efforts and thank them from the heart. You will both feel great.
Have Fun
Sure, building intimacy is important, but you don’t have to be so serious about it! One of the absolute best ways to reconnect with your partner is to laugh with them. This is especially true for people who have been together for quite a few years. You forget who each other used to be. But by experiencing novel and interesting activities together, you can learn new things about each other and see your relationship in a new light.
For some couples, building intimacy can require even more work, especially if there are trust issues. In these cases, working with a couples’ therapist can help partners feel safe enough to work through their issues so they can reconnect.
If you or someone you know is interested in exploring therapy, please contact me. I’d be happy to discuss how I might be able to help.
None of us were prepared for the global pandemic we find ourselves in. Not parents, teachers, and certainly not the healthcare workers around the country. Doctors and nurses suddenly found themselves working double shifts to care for sick people. As the rest of the world went into lockdown and people stayed home, safe and sound, […]
None of us were prepared for the global pandemic we find ourselves in. Not parents, teachers, and certainly not the healthcare workers around the country. Doctors and nurses suddenly found themselves working double shifts to care for sick people. As the rest of the world went into lockdown and people stayed home, safe and sound, these frontline workers showed up day after day, putting their health and life on the line.
Many, in an effort to keep their families safe, found other living arrangements. The idea of possibly exposing their family to something they may have been exposed to at work was too much of a risk, and so many mothers and fathers also had to deal with the stress and sadness of being away from their family during the height of the pandemic.
While many frontline workers appear stoic, all of this stress and fear took its toll, even on the bravest among us. As a result, many frontline workers have found themselves burnt out and experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.
It’s common for everyone to feel stressed or sad from time to time. But when certain symptoms linger, you are typically dealing with depression or anxiety. If you’ve never dealt with either before, you may not know the symptoms.
Symptoms of depression include:
Symptoms of anxiety can include:
For many healthcare workers, all of their time and focus is on how they can help others. The idea of self-care and asking others for help is not something on their radar.
If you are a healthcare worker that is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression as a result of COVID, it’s really important that you let someone else help you right now. A therapist can offer strategies that will help you cope with your symptoms and deal with the underlying emotions.
If you or someone you know would benefit from mental health therapy, please get in touch with me. I offer both in-person appointments as well as online support.
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The topic of self-care is one that has been discussed openly and often over the past decade. But for many, the concept of self-care is one that is still a bit mysterious, if not downright confusing. What Is Self-Care? First, self-care is a practice and a commitment we make to ourselves. It is any activity […]
The topic of self-care is one that has been discussed openly and often over the past decade. But for many, the concept of self-care is one that is still a bit mysterious, if not downright confusing.
First, self-care is a practice and a commitment we make to ourselves. It is any activity we do deliberately to support our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Not only does the right kind of self-care improve our health and life, but it can also improve the relationships we have with others.
Some examples of self-care might be:
Self-care isn’t always fun or easy, but you do it anyway because you know that the activity is what is BEST for you. In this way, self-care is a bit like acting as your own parent, making sure you do the things you don’t necessarily feel like doing because it is what your mind, body, and spirit need.
Self-care isn’t necessarily about making yourself feel better.
Person A has had a very bad day. They practice proper self-care and, when they get home, they change clothes, go for a 3-mile run, then cook a healthy dinner that refuels their body.
Person B has also had a very bad day and practices phony self-care. On their way home, person B stops at the store and gets a 6-pack of beer and a gallon of ice cream, then spends the entire night on the sofa drinking and eating poorly in an attempt to make the bad day go away.
This phony style of self-care is very immature. It is not parental but something a child does. If the parent insists you eat your veggies because they are good for you, the child will eat only candy bars when the parent isn’t looking.
Self-care is about making decisions based on what is good for you, not what you FEEL like doing at the moment.
Self-care should also not be confused with pampering. While there is nothing wrong with getting massages and pedicures, these again tend to be quick fixes we give ourselves to make ourselves feel better in the moment.
At the end of the day, self-care is a commitment to yourself to live, grow, and evolve in healthy ways. It means making choices that will lead to your best self and greatest potential.
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For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating. Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss: Recognize You are Not Alone It’s easy to feel as though you are the […]
For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating.
Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss:
It’s easy to feel as though you are the only one experiencing great pain during the holiday season. Everywhere you turn, people seem to be happy, putting up decorations, buying gifts and making holiday plans. It’s important to recognize the truth right now, and that is that you are not alone. There are people all over the world who have experienced loss, some perhaps very recently.
No one expects you to feel joyful and in the holiday mood right now, so don’t feel as though you must pretend for others’ sake. It is very important that you honor whatever emotions you may be experiencing, whether it’s sadness, anger, regret or a combination.
The holidays are usually a busy time for people. There is much to accomplish and many events to host and/or attend. You do not have to keep your normal schedule this year. You simply will not have the mental or emotional stamina for it. So take the time you need. If you don’t feel like attending many (or any) events this year, that is fine. People will understand.
One of the worst parts about losing a loved one is the feeling that we no longer have any control over our lives. Loss makes us feel helpless. One way to fight this feeling is to help others who are in need. As a bonus, connecting with others who are hurting can often be a salve on our hearts as well.
If you have children, it’s important to understand that they are looking to you right now to know what life will be like from now on. To a child, the loss of a parent or sibling can frighten them terribly. Though you may not at all feel like celebrating the holidays, doing so helps your child know that life does go on and that there is space in your life to feel joy along with sadness.
If you have experienced loss and would like to explore grief counseling, please be in touch. You don’t have to suffer alone.
For many of us, spending time with family can be a grab bag of emotions. While you may feel love and familiarity, there’s also decades-long dynamics between you and your family members that may not be the most healthy. Your family might treat you like the teenager they remember, and you might revert to that […]
For many of us, spending time with family can be a grab bag of emotions. While you may feel love and familiarity, there’s also decades-long dynamics between you and your family members that may not be the most healthy. Your family might treat you like the teenager they remember, and you might revert to that role when you’re around your family without even realizing it.
There could be many things that make spending time with family a challenge. Old family conflicts, harbored resentments, and spoken or unspoken disagreements can make you dread seeing them again. If you have trouble managing your anger when you’re around your family, read on for some tips on how to keep your cool.
Define How You Experience Anger
People experience anger differently. Some might get more aggressive, some might withdraw, and some internalize the anger. By being aware of how you experience anger, you can better recognize when that emotion is starting to develop inside you so you can take control of how you respond.
Rehearse Responses
It’s very common for family to ask intrusive or inappropriate questions. You might have a busybody aunt who always asks about your relationships, or maybe your sister is constantly bugging you about starting a family. Come prepared with rehearsed responses so you won’t be caught off guard.
Set Boundaries
It’s important to set boundaries with family. If a family member is aggressive or rude to you, or is always making you the butt of their jokes, your silence acts as approval of their behavior. Because you don’t protest, they think what they’re saying or doing is fine with you. Furthermore, pretending their bad behavior is acceptable only gives them more room to continue the bad behavior, or to get worse. Set boundaries with family and let them know when things they’re saying or doing is not okay with you.
Cut the Visit Short
Sometimes the best option to keep the family peace (and your sanity) is to spend less time. If your family tends to have snacks or drinks before dinner, show up just in time to join the family for dinner at the table. You can also opt to skip dessert or coffee and leave a bit early.
Family relationships are complex and deep-rooted, and family are often the ones who know best how to push your buttons. While managing your anger can be challenging, learning to maintain control over your emotions is a healthy act of self-love. It will not only keep you sane, but it will keep your family relationships unharmed and intact.
If you’re having difficulty navigating complicated family relationships, a licensed therapist can help. Give my office a call today and let’s schedule a time to talk.